My loneliness reminds me of your heart these days. Uncertain, Broken and Cold. It haunts me when the night creeps on. Like a blanket, it covers me and I pull it further on to not let it eat the monsters under my bed.
I realise that I don’t turn my lights on in the dark these days. Because that would make me see the shit I did to myself. The patches on my skin have started falling off. I’m trying to scream but my throat’s dried out, my sneezes are nothing but leftover spores from the flowers I ate this morning. I’ve switched the lights off to not see my failures.
I’d rather escape these feelings in the dark than to face them in the light.
I’d rather cut my wrists and pour my blood to create heaven and hell on paper. Than to face the world for what it is. Than to start falling in love with you again. But I’ve decided not to hurt myself over you anymore.
Dear A, I’m scared of this world, I’m scared of you. I’m scared of what has become of me and what will become of me tomorrow. What scares me even more these days is that there will be a tomorrow, there can’t always be night. The world is not ending anymore and I still love you.
I want to run away.
I want to be with the darkness one day. With the darkness that lets me hide my feelings without letting the light on.
Dear A, I want to go home, wherever home is.
Dear A, stop sucking the nectar out of my nipples and take me home. Just open the door and let me lick the strawberry crush inside your eyes.
I’m not scared anymore.
My hand is fat and I want to get away.
Nothing to say. Will keep posting soon 🍓♥️
Thank you(×infinity) for reading.